Just Break the Silence

Petit Jete

2006-11-27T09:55:47Z

I finally saw Eyes Wide Shut, and it was brilliant. During the whole movie, all I felt I wanted to do was to get up and dance. I love how Kubrick incorporated the waltz into a lot of his movies. So, during the end credits, I got up and fouette'd my little heart out. I saw my shadow and watched my arms, my port de bras was impressive, considering I haven't danced in a full year and a half. It makes me want to go back. My sister told me the other day that she loves to watch me dance and she was sad when I quit. I would even give up smoking so I could start again, I just don't have the money. I wish I did.

Parasites

2006-07-30T23:11:34Z

roots grow, melt
with unabashed
luxury into damp,
giving earth
feeding from past
life, and thrive.

who but the mother
can feel connection,
the pestilant
nature of figures
who push to reclaim
dignity before roaring
flames.

shame creates the
laughter that echoes
in silent minds
as one does nothing
to break the unholy
cycle of abandon.

there are no roots,
only grey, shallow
weeds that infect
the garden of ripe
symbiosis.

Too true, too true.

2006-01-11T06:59:59Z

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.

czarina_amb @ 2006-01-04T10:18:00

2006-01-04T15:24:27Z

My dad is a jackass in every single aspect of the word. For spring break, I will not be going home. In fact, I think I'll find a way to get out of going home for summer, too. Because of a certain turn of events, from now on, my life is going to be hell. On a stick.

WHY?

2005-12-22T20:46:35Z

...I have a huge crush on Denis Leary...

OKAY...GO!! :)

2005-12-15T00:56:09Z

I bet you weren't expecting this

2005-12-06T17:27:53Z

Masculine

You scored 63 masculinity and 36 femininity!

You scored high on masculinity and low on femininity. You have a traditionally masculine personality.

This test tracked 2 variables. How the score compared to the other people's:

Higher than 55% on masculinity

Higher than 3% on femininity

Link: The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test written by weirdscience on Ok Cupid

No Christmas for me...and that's okay!

2005-12-05T20:12:03Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Saturday I bought porn for rockinyourface (10 points). In March I set chalkbluesky's puppy on fire (-66 points). In July I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Last week I didn't flush (-1 points). Last month I helped beautiful_liar_ hide a body (-173 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-238 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!

Sincerely,
czarina_amb

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I SET A PUPPY ON FIRE!!!!!! Sorry, Lia :)

HEY HEY HEY

2005-12-04T06:19:01Z

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one of a lot of reason[s] why I like/love/adore you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.

Thenn...TEA PARTY tomorrow at 3:00 in the Tinker Coffee House. Anybody can come, but wear something nice-ish. Food is welcome AND appreciated!!

Ride?

2005-11-27T05:58:35Z

Would somebody be the most amazing person EVER and pick me up at the airport tomorrow around 4:30?? I would really appreciate it :)

P.S. My mom says my hair is okay. That response is much better than I was expecting.

Asi que no te molestes...voy a estar bien

2005-11-26T04:32:40Z

I'm watching Amityville Horror and I'm not finding it scary at all...but maybe that's because I haven't felt anything all day.

Wasn't mad when my mom called me fat again.
Wasn't happy when I saw my old friend from work.
Wasn't worried when I found out my cousin has a nitrogen bubble stuck in her spine.
Wasn't hurt when my dad grabbed my neck.

Why?

czarina_amb @ 2005-11-25T16:23:00

2005-11-25T21:23:28Z

My family sucks. I can't wait to get back.

20 minutes later...

2005-11-24T09:42:35Z

"I miss you already, beautiful. Hope you had a good time and have a Happy Thanksgiving."

He made me smile.

I'm still waiting for you to make me smile.

Waiting

2005-11-24T00:41:18Z

I don't want to wait around wondering if you'll call or text me.

czarina_amb @ 2005-11-22T19:45:00

2005-11-23T00:56:33Z

I just bought the new Madonna album. Her music video for Hung Up...ah...just, wow. Madonna is hhhhhhoooooooottttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

I also bought a Marilyn Manson cd and a Bowie record. I can't wait to sit down, burn incense and listen to the album...but my record player isn't here...dammit.

Oh well, I'm going to a Hookah Bar and then a concert tonight!!!!!!! Yay for indie bands...and hookah.

Bastard

2005-11-22T01:33:44Z

Sometimes I truely hate my dad. He drills me with questions all the time to the point where I snap and yell at him to change the subject. Then when I immediately apologize after and ask how his day was, he imitates me and snaps back. He's such a bastard. He knows exactly how much that annoys me, but he keeps doing it anyway because he tries to get under my skin. Sometimes I think I'd rather go back to when he'd hurt me in other ways, just so I could avoid his horrible condescending tone.

I hate home.

EDIT: I'm extremely lonely being here.

I'm sickeningly fat

2005-11-20T08:21:11Z

I smoke so I don't gain weight. Everytime I feel the need to eat, I just smoke and the craving goes away.

I ate Vietnamese today, which I love. After the meal, though, I felt so disgustingly fat. All I wanted to do was get it out of my system.

Just now, I looked in the mirror and I hate what I see. I'm disgusting. My body is disgusting.

I'm hungry, so it's time for a cigarette.

Empty

2005-11-20T03:14:28Z

I just bought the most amazing shoes at my favorite store in the Loop. They make me happy.

You know what else usually makes me happy?

Hari Chrishna's. They were jamming all over the Loop tonight.

So why aren't these things making me happy tonight?

Fuck

2005-11-19T06:17:06Z

When things go really well for me, I should just learn to expect that something reallly horrible will happen. My chest feels like it's being stomped on by an elephant.

So...
If something is wrong, tell me. Please don't ignore me, I don't think I can handle it.

Late night thoughts...

2005-11-11T07:01:53Z

I can't wait to see you. Just to be near you will be elation.

I hope you are having an amazing birthday :)

czarina_amb @ 2005-11-09T10:29:00

2005-11-09T15:32:23Z

Just fucking work, Alyssa.

The only thing going through my head right now is, "I can't, I can't, I can't."

Coincidence???

2005-11-05T08:41:55Z

K, so I'm sitting here reading Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest and listening to Chopin. What's weird is that I've seen both their graves. Chopin's is right near Jim Morrison's in Pere Lachaise Cemetary in Paris, so I stopped when I was on my way to see Oscar Wilde. And then I kissed Oscar Wilde's grave...it's tradition!

So, anyway! Yay for more pictures!!!

Look at those costumes! I was a babydoll, Sarah was a falling angel and Summer was a ?dead? Prom Queen.

Sarah with her stash.

Stella and Summer

lol, wow.

I was laughing at something amazingly funny…now I can’t recall what it was.

Yay! Sarah rocks ☺

Say “Hi” to Mr. Bones!!!!!

I love my roommate! And Isis, who gives the world’s best hugs!

P.S. I'm excited about the 11th ☺

czarina_amb @ 2005-10-25T15:47:00

2005-10-25T19:49:51Z

You scored as The Surprise! Dyke. Despite the dead giveaways, such as the tattoos and love of the L Word, people still seem to think that you're straight.

</td>

The Surprise! Dyke

75%

The Stud

65%

The Granola Dyke

65%

The Sprightly Elfin Femme

60%

The Femme Fatale

60%

The Student Dyke

60%

The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke

45%

The Quasi-Gothic Femme

45%

The Pretty-Boi Dyke

35%

The Little-Boy Dyke

35%

The Hipster Dyke

30%

The Bohemian Dyke

30%

The Magic Earring Ken Dyke

10%

What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
created with QuizFarm.com

Is this a surprise to anyone?

czarina_amb @ 2005-10-21T11:44:00

2005-10-21T15:47:47Z

God must love me. The test has been postponed till Monday. I LOVE EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

czarina_amb @ 2005-10-20T22:17:00

2005-10-21T02:22:05Z

Oh my god...please, someone, go with me to see Domino. I've got to see this movie. Like, I'll die if I don't. Please, pleasssse someone go with me tomorrow!!!!!!!

LOL, I'm feeling this hardcore appreciation for all the really cool things in life. Yeah, life is good.